​Technology has always been there to make lives of people easier. In fact, thanks to technology the world of emotions has also been conquered. I’m talking about is the love connection (or lust) that can happen through online dating sites and chatting rooms or software such as Match, Tender, LiveLink.

Thanks to these websites and chat software people have been given a better chance to find their partner. This is because people are given the chance to be connected wherever they might be. All different cultures and walks of life are able to meet with a simple click of the keyboard. In short a person has got a better chance to meet his or her partner because of the greater number of daters.

After chatting for a while and getting to know one another, it would be natural to meet. It would be a pretty shallow relationship if both of you are happy to be forever just chatting. Both persons may just be really looking for someone to talk to.

​Finding love through the internet offers the two sides to get intimate right away. This is because it is easier to be yourself when chatting online. Just imagine that you can say anything stupid and you won’t see the other person thinking that it’s corny. Instead most chatters, even though you are pretty corny just type LOL (laugh out loud).

​1 in 5 people were sexually abused as children, in the U.S.. Child sexual abuse occurs when a child's physical or emotional self is violated through sexual actions, when a victim is under the age of 18.
When the resulting issues are not addressed, they typically present as:

• Frequent sleep disturbances (insomnia, nightmares, night terrors, sleeping too much)
• Flashbacks
• Dissociation or losing time
• Difficulty managing emotions
• Feelings of guilt, worthlessness, powerlessness, shame, or feeling “dirty”
• Anxiety, panic attacks, and hypervigilence
• Depression
• Suicidal thoughts and attempts, feeling destructive
• Cutting, self injury, or self mutilation
• Eating disorders (anorexia, bulimia, and/or compulsive overeating)
• Body image issues
• Difficulty with or avoiding relationships, automatic lack of trust of others
• Avoidance of appropriate and consensual sexual intimacy
• Addictions and compulsions (alcohol, drugs, food, gambling, spending, pornography)
• Body memories, somatic symptoms
• Poor boundaries with others (too permissive or too rigid)
• Difficulties nurturing yourself or caring for yourself appropriately

Chances are, you know someone who has experienced childhood sexual abuse. It is an issue that affects all of us at every level of society, including our families, offices, neighborhoods, schools, and places of worship. Survivors need allies like you to stand beside survivors to break down the walls of silence around this issue. With help, we can build healthy communities that speak and thrive. Time to break the cycle and heal as adults.

• Understand how the past affects the present
• Recognizing that what happened was sexual abuse and that the perpetrator is responsible
• Recognizing unhealthy copping skills such as addictions and compulsions
• Identifying and improving self-esteem issues
• Developing healthy boundaries and coping skills
• Accepting love, intimacy and trust

​Information from and assistance at Wings Foundation, Denver, CO. http;//wingsfoundation.org

Provided information doesn't represent an endorsement provider services. 

BLENDED FAMILIES. Left 2011 with a bang to start off 2012. I would like to thank Mandy and Chris for letting me be their Officiant for their wedding. As a blended family, it was so moving to have the children of both the bride and grooms families to be apart of the wedding. For Mandy and Chris, I wrote a completely custom, religious ceremony that included, a pledge for the children of the family unit, vows from the parents to the children and a pray for the family as they joined in a circle holding hands. It was beautiful and heartfelt. 
As a wedding is a serious commitment unto itself, the joining of children from different families makes that commitment very important to all concerned. If any of the children are older, well, we all have heard of pros and cons to the reactions of such unions. I suggest you don't force them to be apart of the ceremony if they are not interested or supportive of the new union. Yet, when all parties are committed, pass the Kleenex as it can be a real moving moment.
There are many ways to ensure that all the children of the couple feel cherished and included. Some parents write special, yet simple vows for the children that can be exchanged during the ceremony. Some give a gift  like a necklace to the child(ren) during the ceremony like an exchange of rings between the couple. Some couples get engraved gold bands or bracelets and present then to the children. Gestures such as these will allow to child(ren) to feel included into the new family situation and remain in their hearts and minds for years to come. 
There are additional ways to make children feel included. If making them apart of the "wedding party" is not an option, they can be given a special decorated seat to sit in during the ceremony. They could have special matching clothing, or a corsage or boutonniere to wear.
Regardless, to how or what you do to make the children of a new union feel special, make sure that they know they are loved from all the adults involved. Lastly, if there is an ex still in the picture and you all are supportive or at least civil, get that person to speak with the child(ren) and let them know that they support their involvement in the ceremony. No need to put quilt on a child for something that should be joyous.
More wedding services information in Colorado can be found on the Zenful Life Weddings Facebook page or send your questions on the CONTACT page
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​As the intention of the heart is to keep it open, another is to draw healthy boundaries. 

There is a story about a young woman whose Buddhist meditation master was teaching her about boundaries. Every day she would meditate on drawing loving-kindness into her heart. Each day when she left the meditation for the market she was greeted by the unwelcome advances of a merchant. Finally, one day she lost it! She was so mad she took her umbrella and chased the merchant down the street. While running, she notice her Buddhist master watching her. As she approached the master she was ashamed with her behavior. In the most calmest and gentle tone, he told her, " The next time something like this happens, fill your heart with as an much loving-kindness as you can and then take your umbrella and hit that rogue right over the head!"

There is a time, a moment that we must draw a line for the protection of our own energy. I am not saying you have to hurt someone's feeling as that doesn't bless them or our hearts. It is unhealthy for us and ultimately others, to not have healthy boundaries. We have to take time to recharge and nurture ourselves to be effective in fulfilling our mission.

A Rabbi once said, “A human being that does not have a single hour of his own every day is not human being at all. 

You must take time for yourself. It is okay to set limits and say no, with loving-kindness.

​Your physical relationship may have been hot and steamy before marriage, but now “life” has set in. You have gotten married, the baby is here and you feel as though your life is in a rut. You may be at home with baby all day and the last thing you really want is a grown man crawling all over you. He has dropped hint that you don’t seem the same and that he wants more alone time with you. You want the same thing too. You want the intimacy back that you and your mate once shared, but how do you get that back? You are tired at the end of the day, feeling as if you have given all you have to give, but in essence you just need a change in mindset.
Here are 10 easy changes you and your mate can start doing today to bring the spice back into your life together.

• What you did to get each other, needs to happen to keep each other.
  • Look, fact is that people do so much to get a mate. When they do, often times one of the two expresses how much the other has changes. Yep, sometimes your mate may get downright lazy or complacent. You both need to remember, that your relationship is a choice. Even though the relationship dynamic changes with baby's arrive, the thoughtfulness and kindness shouldn’t.
• Stop making intimacy a production number.
  • Your love is about a gaze, a touch; the simple things that you do for each other. Meet him at the door when he comes home and take his coat off of him. Give him a hand or foot massage. Walk in the door ready to help with or cook dinner, or be ready to play with the baby or pick up the house and give her at least 30 minutes of time just for her. I remember the rush I got when my husband took out the trash without me mentioning it. These thoughtful acts will go a long way in making your mate feel loved and appreciated. Remember, as a man you may feel that going out to work is enough for your day, but being a mom is usually a 24/7 job. Sometimes her lack of sex drive is her feeling like she is always working. If a “quickie” is as good as it gets, don’t be greedy. Remember morning sex can be a good way to start a day. 

​I am back with my 2017 MOTTO... "I AM PERFECTION PERSONIFIED!" See the graphic for more explanation. This is not in a braggadocious way.  It is not just about what you do. It is who you are to your core, that probably effects what you do and how well you do it! IT SPEAKS TO YOUR CONFIDENCE. SO what is your PERFECTION PERSONIFICATION? If you can't answer this question, you don't own your PERFECT! WHY??? If you don't own it, no one is going to believe what you are "serving". Think about it and feel free to leave a comment. 

There is an Allure.com article and video circulating about, Dispelling Beauty Myths: Aging with Grace and I am so there right now.  By next week, I will be the big 5-0. Yep…Fabulous Fifty. The video touched on so many issues that I embrace and that impact my life at this time.
To start, I love what was said about being sexy and the attention that comes with it. I catch the eye of older men, but I get approached by much younger dudes. I learned to embrace being a Cougar or even a MILF. It is what it is and at the end of the day, it’s about how I feel at a given moment. I love my style and my curves with the knowledge that I have both to please myself and no one else and at any given time, I have the ability to change.
Since my mid 40’s and as I got closer to 50, my confidence as a woman and mother has increased which I believe adds to the sexy. With this growth, I have adopted my life philosophy. After being married, cheated on, divorced, and now single, I look at life as what I deserve and not just what I desire. Although, I cherish them while in the midst of things, I am no longer afraid of ending a relationship of any type. This light bulb realization helps me to live an unapologetically authentic life that’s on my own terms. Since I am comfortable in my current situation, I am free to date who I want, when I want. I decide at what level of intimacy is included with my relationships. In fact, my actions are even more thought out and deliberate.
Another aspect of my Aging with Grace is my ability to connect while being detached from permanence. A month after turning 49, I had a stroke. The very next day, I decided to release the stressors of my life. Apart of that is the knowledge that nothing is meant to last forever. This includes life, money, residences, friendships and love…nothing stays on this earth forever. Yesterday, out of the blue, my 80 something Mom, says she was having a conversation with her 80 something brother about how they are on borrowed time. I explained to my Mom, that we all are in the same position. We all have finite days in our physical bodies. Money is given, won earned, saved and spent, but at your last breath, you will probably not take it with you. Homes can be here today and gone tomorrow. Some friends lose connection and perhaps come back or not. People commit to marriage till death do they part and then divorce. Is this making sense? So when it is all said and done, I have learned to be removed from the “idea” of permanence because it all can be gone in a blink. We live in the duality of constant “here today and gone tomorrow”. So I live my life in the moment, while I plan for the uncertain future, which for me is way less stressful and way more fun. It brings peace to my life and ability to define my NO to get to my YES…with grace.

 Sex toys are so common place nowadays. They have become a part of regular use, and/or an expansion on sex play and intimacy. In fact, sex toys have become so common, they are the topic or they have been integrated into some of the most watched TV programs.  Shows such as Sex in the City, Frisky Business, Real Housewives and even Oprah have featured sex toys.  But, what do you do when you don’t want to leave them behind during that next airline travel.  These tips will help make sure you plan ahead and don’t miss out on your enjoyment while away from home.

1. Plan ahead. Plan what you want to take and what plans you have for storage. Will you put your toys in a specially designed case or just a zip-lock bag? The latter is a wise idea with either choice, as you don’t want someone else’s hands all over your toys during any inspection.
2. Remove the batteries, run out the charge if USB rechargeable or engage any lock feature on the toy so it doesn’t turn on and freak everyone out. Last thing you want is to be delayed while TSA waits from the bomb sniffing dog.
3. If checking a bag, put your toys in that bag. It’s just a simpler choice.
4. Regardless to what you store your toys in, put them between your clothes, in the middle of your bag.
5. If asked about your toys, explain truthfully with these simple words…”it’s a _____”, whatever it is. Be it a vibrator, pocket pussy, clit simulator, whatever. It’s your toy and are you really that concerned with what someone at the airport thinks about your travel accessories?
6. When traveling, smaller is better. Pick toys that are less than 7 inches long.
7. Lastly… if you are traveling out of the country, search on-line for the laws or culture regarding sex toys in your country of travel. Here is a partial list of countries where sex toys are illegal as of this post: India, Indonesia, Iran, Iraq, Kuwait, Saudi Arabia, Thailand, and United Arab Emirates. 

So, here are links you may find informative:
Toy storage options: www.zenfullifelovin.com/category/874/Extras/Storage
Small toys for women: www.zenfullifelovin.com/category/8/Vibrators/Bullet-Vibrators
Small toys for men: www.zenfullifelovin.com/category/546/Mens-Toys/Masturbators/Masturbation-Sleeves
Make sure you subscribe to the NEWSLETTER. August recipients are getting a discount code for their next toy purchase.
Intimate  travels to you.

​When relationships begin, they're fun and exciting. You spend time together doing fun things and when your partner goes home or heads off to work, you get to spend some time on your own reflecting about how much fun you've had. You look forward to seeing each other again with a sense of anticipation and excitement.

All healthy relationships go through periods of highs and lows. When things are running high, everyone's happy. But when things are at a low point, one or both partners may begin to doubt their feelings.

You might start thinking this person might not be right for you because the feelings just aren't there today. Perhaps your partner seems distant and preoccupied and isn't showing the same level of interest in you today as in previous days.

Burn out can happen simply because you're both trying to sustain the high-intensity emotions for far too long. It could also mean you're spending all your time in each other's company with no chance to unwind and enjoy that sense of anticipation until you see each other again.

Many people are guilty of this early in a relationship. I call this The Newness. They forget to socialize with other friends. They give up their usual hobbies and interests so they can spend more time with their new-found love. While it's fun at first, it can also lead to feeling unfulfilled in other areas of your life.

Just because you're in a relationship, it's unrealistic to expect every other area of your life to stop. You also can't expect your partner to give up friends, hobbies or interests he or she had before they met you, unless they're detrimental to the relationship.

RECOVERY

Nobody can feel ecstatically blissful 100% of the time, 24/7. It's exhausting and what I call, The Newness Wearing Off. So when those lulls or low-patches happen, don't take it personally. They're often a sign that you may need to spend some time doing something fun for yourself and re-energize that independent streak within you.

Not only will it give you and your partner time to miss each other, but you'll both be doing something you enjoy, which gives you something fun to talk about when you do see each other again.

Trying to beg your partner for an answer about why he or she is being distant today is likely to push them further away instead of bringing them closer. Everyone needs a little time alone to recharge and think, so allow your partner the courtesy of a little time when they need it. This will also give you time to get back in touch with yourself.

"MIC CHECK MIC CHECK"... stop and take a look at where you are. What is the story you are telling yourself about where you are vs where you want to be? How's that working for you? Are you telling yourself the same old tired excuses? Are you stuck back on the old story that got you where you are and now it is time to move forward with a new story? Is your relationship with yourself and others moving you forward or feeling like a noose around your neck? Is your sex life satisfying your current desires or is it back in the dark ages? Have you created a bond with a past wound because you have become comfortable with not risking change? What about your weight...Are you holding on to a comfort of the known as to the unknown? How do any of these things serve you are keep you playing small?

We carry all of our past experiences, relationships, culture...but those situations that were not positive, don't have to keep us stuck forever. YES, it will be there. It is a permanent part of your existence. SORRY. Someone else will tell you that you can just let it all go, but we are a sum total of our past. Your past is truly what has put you were you are now. Good, bad or indifferent. This makes you who you are. Yet, if your old story is holding you back, pick up a pen and write a new chapter to your story. As Glenda the Good Witch, "You have always had it". Then, remember, you don't have to write the end of your story just yet. You have the power to define YOUR OWN future.