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11/6/2017

10 Tip on How to Create Intimacy After Baby's Arrival

​Your physical relationship may have been hot and steamy before marriage, but now “life” has set in. You have gotten married, the baby is here and you feel as though your life is in a rut. You may be at home with baby all day and the last thing you really want is a grown man crawling all over you. He has dropped hint that you don’t seem the same and that he wants more alone time with you. You want the same thing too. You want the intimacy back that you and your mate once shared, but how do you get that back? You are tired at the end of the day, feeling as if you have given all you have to give, but in essence you just need a change in mindset.
Here are 10 easy changes you and your mate can start doing today to bring the spice back into your life together.
  • What you did to get each other, needs to happen to keep each other.
    • Look, fact is that people do so much to get a mate. When they do, often times one of the two expresses how much the other has changes. Yep, sometimes your mate may get downright lazy or complacent. You both need to remember, that your relationship is a choice. Even though the relationship dynamic changes with baby's arrive, the thoughtfulness and kindness shouldn’t.
  • Stop making intimacy a production number.
    • Your love is about a gaze, a touch; the simple things that you do for each other. Meet him at the door when he comes home and take his coat off of him. Give him a hand or foot massage. Walk in the door ready to help with or cook dinner, or be ready to play with the baby or pick up the house and give her at least 30 minutes of time just for her. I remember the rush I got when my husband took out the trash without me mentioning it. These thoughtful acts will go a long way in making your mate feel loved and appreciated. Remember, as a man you may feel that going out to work is enough for your day, but being a mom is usually a 24/7 job. Sometimes her lack of sex drive is her feeling like she is always working. If a “quickie” is as good as it gets, don’t be greedy. Remember morning sex can be a good way to start a day. 

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11/19/2016

Messy does as messy is! #NickCannon 

​Let me start by saying, congrats to his current baby momma, Brittany Bell. Nick reported a few days ago that Ms. Bell is 6 months pregnant. Children are a blessing regardless to the circumstances for which they were conceived. This is not an attack on Nick, but yet a reprimand on behavior.
Here is the lesson in all of this. Nick apparently did an interview with #ENews back in August. At which time they reported that he stated that, he has no intention of getting into another relationship ever again, because he is damaged goods. I can agree with part of that. YET, HELLO … NEW FLASH, sex with another person is a relationship. It’s called a “sexual relationship”, “a sex buddy”, “a fuck buddy”, “friends with benefits”, “sitting on the fence”,  “rebound chick or dude” or even "one night stand”… did I miss any? Regardless, they are all forms of a relationship!
There are three things that I want you to be clear on regarding this topic.
  1. As long as you are clear that the act of having sex with another person is a form of a relationship, both people are CONSENTING adults and you negotiate the terms of the sex, it’s all gravy! Just be clear and define the terms of the relationship before any underwear is moved (or dare I say... mouths are opened).  Communication is key people and will help keep you from getting your car keyed or all your business on blast.
  2. Don’t use sex to fix your old hurt feelings! First off, no one is here to fix you. Sorry BooBoo, you need to do that work yourself. The most important relationship you need to have is with yourself. Without it, you bring very little to the bedroom. And second, no one wants your all apartment furniture in their new house. What I mean is, stop carrying old baggage into a new relationship. You can leave those at the “airport”. Trust, it can be disposed of properly.  
  3. Lastly dudes…if you have a woman that is pregnant with your baby, don’t go prancing around the world and the internet with another woman. Show some class and respect even if the two of you are not officially together. Trust, you are still together. There was a soul that has been joined together which requires you to MAN THE HELL UP! Nine months is not a long time to be low key.
Now that you are clear that when there is sex… there is a relationship. If you want more in a relationship than just sex, check out what I call “10 Life Lessons to Genuine Intimacy in 2017”. Go to the HOME page and get instance access. 

8/7/2016

7 Tips to Traveling with YOUR Sex Toys.

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 Sex toys are so common place nowadays. They have become a part of regular use, and/or an expansion on sex play and intimacy. In fact, sex toys have become so common, they are the topic or they have been integrated into some of the most watched TV programs.  Shows such as Sex in the City, Frisky Business, Real Housewives and even Oprah have featured sex toys.  But, what do you do when you don’t want to leave them behind during that next airline travel.  These tips will help make sure you plan ahead and don’t miss out on your enjoyment while away from home.
  1. Plan ahead. Plan what you want to take and what plans you have for storage. Will you put your toys in a specially designed case or just a zip-lock bag? The latter is a wise idea with either choice, as you don’t want someone else’s hands all over your toys during any inspection.
  2. Remove the batteries, run out the charge if USB rechargeable or engage any lock feature on the toy so it doesn’t turn on and freak everyone out. Last thing you want is to be delayed while TSA waits from the bomb sniffing dog.
  3. If checking a bag, put your toys in that bag. It’s just a simpler choice.
  4. Regardless to what you store your toys in, put them between your clothes, in the middle of your bag.
  5. If asked about your toys, explain truthfully with these simple words…”it’s a _____”, whatever it is. Be it a vibrator, pocket pussy, clit simulator, whatever. It’s your toy and are you really that concerned with what someone at the airport thinks about your travel accessories?
  6. When traveling, smaller is better. Pick toys that are less than 7 inches long.
  7. Lastly… if you are traveling out of the country, search on-line for the laws or culture regarding sex toys in your country of travel. Here is a partial list of countries where sex toys are illegal as of this post: India, Indonesia, Iran, Iraq, Kuwait, Saudi Arabia, Thailand, and United Arab Emirates. 
So, here are links you may find informative:
Toy storage options: www.zenfullifelovin.com/category/874/Extras/Storage
Small toys for women: www.zenfullifelovin.com/category/8/Vibrators/Bullet-Vibrators
Small toys for men: www.zenfullifelovin.com/category/546/Mens-Toys/Masturbators/Masturbation-Sleeves
Make sure you subscribe to the NEWSLETTER. August recipients are getting a discount code for their next toy purchase.
Intimate  travels to you.

12/11/2013

Why Zenful Life Lovin?

One last time. As I always say, sometimes the right things show up at the right time. This word "surrender" was just that for me. I was struggling as to where to take my brand, Zenful Life Living. I have this site, I have my ministry and yes, I have my site of adult toys too. I expanded my adult site and began marketing it more. As I thought I would, I got the crazy looks and stares. Zen living, ministry and adult toys, however can that go together? Or , "I thought you are a Christian". That was funny to me. 
This is my answer to all the twisted faces and questions. We were created as Spiritual beings, having a physical experience. Apart of that experience is is based in One's sexuality. Couple that with a divorce rate of nearly 50% in this country at the average age of 30; which leaves a lot of people still in their sexual prime and single. Now, piggy-back that with the continued growth of sexually transmitted infection amongst homosexual men and those that are, but don't profess their bi-sexuality, and there continues to be a predictor of acquiring and transmitting HIV and not only within the homosexual community, but the hetero as well.
So how does this relate to ZLL and the adult toy division, Zenful Life Lovin? The resurgence of married turned single, of those in and out of their sexual prime, and the continued spread of STI and STD, says don't go playing with your life! Don't assume someone else is going to take care of your sexual, physical and spiritual health. There are other ways to experience the physical pleasure you desire without going out there and putting your whole life at risk. Buy some condoms and some toys!

9/30/2013 0 Comments

http://www.zenfullifelovin.com                                                           Zenful Life Lovin is finally online and functioning!

As much as we may resist it, the holiday shopping season is upon us. Zenful Life Lovin, the adult pleasure products division under the umbrella of Zenful Life Living, LLC is up and running. 
Why you may be asking. Over the years, I continue to grow my business as needs of my customers change. I am very proud to say that my clientele has grown up too. Some married, some divorced or never married. Then, dare, I say, some of you are even grandparents. Yet the one thing you all have in common is that you are all spiritual beings having a  physical experience. Apart of that physical experience is self-care, pleasureful, or sexual. Let me just put it out there... that is since you are not dead yet, you may still have sexual desire and want the pleasure that comes from it.  
So take a look at the new site. It is a work in development, but it can take your orders at anytime. Products are shipped to you in a nondescript package. Also "LIKE" the Zenful Life Lovin Facebook page and be first to get the latest information and coupon codes between now and the New Year. Buy something for yourself or someone you care about.
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    Author

     I am a woman, a daughter, a sister, an aunt, a mother, an Integrative 
    Nutrition Health Coach and Intimacy Empowerment Guide and I have found the key to defining my NO to get to my YES. I am on a journey and I hope you will take it with me. Please share your ideas, thoughts and insights in the Contact Me section or along with a blog post. We can learn from each other.

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