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This blog post is from a mini teleconference call I did. There were 5 people online, yet only 2 talking. Our conversation is about "Anitya" (in itch ya). This is a Sanskirt word meaning impermanence or temporary.
In this world, everything in the physical plane is temporary. It is only in our attachment to things that we make way for the joy or suffering that can come. Take a listen. Can you live with the thought that everything is temporary? How can this help you with your goals or relationships?
"I can't breathe", exclaimed Eric Garner, over and over again, until murdered. Below is my commentary of a Facebook post regarding Garner and "justice prevailing".
Tell me David, you as the father of a very young son and me the mother of a pre-teen young man, if your child gets "slain", what justice would be enough to prevail? As a mother, there is not moral rightness to justify the lawlessness that could pay for the life of my son. There is no fine, fee or sentence that could compensate for the life of a child born of parents, free from the beginning created by God. There is no Hell or high water that could administer a punishment great enough to level the neutrality of an immoral and unjust act. I think of the work I put in as a parent and then my son's commitment as an Honor Rolls student, Student Body President, community volunteer, child of the most high God, yet he is labeled a "black boy" mixed with the indigenous blood of these un-United States of America. I, his mother of a military father that served this country and all people in it in 2 branches of the Armed Forces, of both educated parents, who raised us up to fear and love God and respect others, I have had the guns of 6 (SIX!!!!!!!) police (yes all white), pointed at my face because I was the wrong color skin in the wrong color car in the wrong parking space on the wrong street at the wrong time of day that I owned, while minding my own got damn business! There is no justice that can every let me forget the feelings on that day. There is no justice that allows me to not fear for my son, as his mother in brown skin. And what would have been justice enough for my mother had just one bullet left the barrel of just one of the six guns back in 2001, while a young brown skin woman was killed just months prior, while sitting in her car holding a cell phone, as justice said he thought it was a gun. This is not an attack on you my brutha, yet a condemnation of the word justice in an unjust world.
May peace be with Garner's soul and with the spirits of his family.
Here are some alternatives to the hook up arranged by your mother or the blind double date of a friend. The great thing about dating in this day and age is the versatility and availability of methods to seek out your preferred type of person or activity. Dating can be confusing and frustrating, no matter what your situation. Here are some alternative dating ideas that may appeal to people who don't want to go down the traditional route of seeking a mate.
Singles bars have been around for a long time, and though they may not appeal to everyone they are ideal because everyone has the same goal in mind. You're all in the same boat, and it may not be subtle but it certainly is straightforward.
Speed dating gives you an even shorter time to make an impression. As an alternative dating technique, it can be a lot of fun. You sit opposite someone and each of you have a few minutes to tell the other about yourself. When the bell rings you move on to the next table, start at square one and repeat. If someone bores you to tears, your suffering is short-lived. At the end of the evening, you connect with those that tickled your fancy and go from there. If you didn't meet anyone you clicked with, there's no pressure and you can simply go home and attend the next session. This is becoming a very popular technique for singles, and even those who may mock it and perhaps go 'as a joke' or on a dare end up enjoying themselves.
Dating agencies have become quite popular in recent times. Professional people who lead busy lives like to use them. It's an alternative dating method that is not foolproof but it's somewhat safer, as all clients have gone through a filtering system. Many agencies utilize video dating, whereby the client makes a brief video of themselves and has access to other client videos for perusal. You don't have long to make an impression, so it's best to just be yourself. You want to come across as a genuine person, not a phony.
Many communities have singles groups that embark on fun activities together, and this is is a great alternative dating method. Events like biking, bowling, curling, movie nights, dancing and comedy clubs are organized by the singles group, and it allows an evenly-distributed group of participants to have a fun and casual night. With emphasis put on the activity itself instead of making a romantic connection, it takes a lot of pressure off the singles and attractions occur more naturally in this type of setting. Check for Meetups on-line for groups in your area. Personally, I like this casual way of meeting people; best.
Having the weekend to myself, I spent the day relaxing with a friend, while watching Netflix and studying my health coaching program. Yes, relaxation is good in and of itself and some would consider it a non activity, but when done in close contact to another person, there are profound chemical responses.
Your skin is your body's largest organ, and when its sensory receptors are stimulated, the hormone Oxytocin, the one that makes you feel good is released. At the same time, Cortisol, the stress hormone also involved with weight, glucose regulation and the regulation of blood pressure, is reduced. The power of touch also improves your immune system, and deepen your connection to another person even more so than sex.
So I recommend you make time, hours even to connect with another person through the power of even simple touch. Also, consider the next time you shake the hand of a child or old person that lives alone; hold their hand with both your hands as long as they are comfortable. Even though you will not see the effects of this connect, it is important and very present.
To begin where I left off, my doctor prescribed an antidepressant. I told my mother about it as I was alarmed by the list of possible effects of the medication. Here is a copy and paste from online. Get emergency medical help if you have any of these signs of an allergic reaction: skin rash or hives; difficulty breathing; swelling of your face, lips, tongue, or throat.
Report any new or worsening symptoms to your doctor, such as: mood or behavior changes, anxiety, panic attacks, trouble sleeping, or if you feel impulsive, irritable, agitated, hostile, aggressive, restless, hyperactive (mentally or physically), more depressed, or have thoughts about suicide or hurting yourself.
Call your doctor at once if you have:
DEPRESSION: WHAT IS THE PAY OFF?
The other evening, I had a conversation with a male friend about depression. It was interesting to hear a male's prospective from a personal point of view. I told him that I am not totally sold on the idea of depression as a real medical diagnoses barring a hormonal or chemical imbalance.
Last year, my Internist stated that she believed I had been "clinically" depressed since I had begun seeing her, three years prior. I confirmed that perhaps she was correct. She ask would I be willing to finally be pharmaceutical treated. As I was going through a tumultuous divorce, I agreed and she sent off the prescription. I began taking the pills once a day, until....
More to come soon. Follow this story of my real life event as I dissect and investigate beliefs regarding depression and how what I did may help you or someone you know.
To all Zenful Life Living followers, friends and family, thank you for joining me on this ride. I am so excited for what is to come. I have been busier than ever before, and I love it!
Well the time has come. 2013 brought a lot to my life and looking back with clear vision, I know it was to set me up for this and many years. So MY MOTTO for 2014 is "Authentically Bodacious!"
This is how I will be living my life! As I move firmly in the next chapter as a speaker and writer, relationship and dating coach, I will be telling it like it is and being Authentically Bodacious.
I invite you to join me. Have you already begun or can you live your best life Authentically Bodacious? Are you ready to speak your truth in all things? Will you stop playing small and stand firmly in the majesty that is God given and waiting for your taking.
The time has come to be Authentically Bodacious!!
Here is an example of a Vision Board, I found online.
I stated on Facebook that I would give more details on how to create a VISION BOARD and why you need one. So, here I go. What is a VISION BOARD? It is a collage of visual images, words, and statements that represent the wishes, goals and desires that you will do the work to complete in a given, set, period of time. The time has to be set for you to know that you can not play small, and that you make yourself accountable to do the work and complete your goals.
Your Board will help you get focus, clarity and the physical plan to achieve your goals. When you place the words, pictures and statements on a Board, you will be able to manifest your dreams into reality. There is medical research that proves that what the brain sees, has a physical reaction on the body. Think about it. If you are one that likes sweets, what happens to you physically when you see them? Do you then have a craving? Do you remember what that thing tastes like? This is the same mental response that you have with the images you allow to affect you daily life. Come on now. Stay with me. Why shouldn't we allow children to watch say, violence, porn, wars, blood and guts, etc... This is the same in reverse for the effect that your VISION BOARD will have on your life. Many call it the Law of Attraction, but I call it simple science and physiology.
Now that it is clear as to what a Board is and why you need one, let me talk about different types of Boards. I consider there to be 4 types of boards.
Remember, I am sure you have heard this one: “Whatever the mind can conceive and believe, it can achieve.” ― Napoleon Hill.
One last time. As I always say, sometimes the right things show up at the right time. This word "surrender" was just that for me. I was struggling as to where to take my brand, Zenful Life Living. I have this site, I have my ministry and yes, I have my site of adult toys too. I expanded my adult site and began marketing it more. As I thought I would, I got the crazy looks and stares. Zen living, ministry and adult toys, however can that go together? Or , "I thought you are a Christian". That was funny to me.
This is my answer to all the twisted faces and questions. We were created as Spiritual beings, having a physical experience. Apart of that experience is is based in One's sexuality. Couple that with a divorce rate of nearly 50% in this country at the average age of 30; which leaves a lot of people still in their sexual prime and single. Now, piggy-back that with the continued growth of sexually transmitted infection amongst homosexual men and those that are, but don't profess their bi-sexuality, and there continues to be a predictor of acquiring and transmitting HIV and not only within the homosexual community, but the hetero as well.
So how does this relate to ZLL and the adult toy division, Zenful Life Lovin? The resurgence of married turned single, of those in and out of their sexual prime, and the continued spread of STI and STD, says don't go playing with your life! Don't assume someone else is going to take care of your sexual, physical and spiritual health. There are other ways to experience the physical pleasure you desire without going out there and putting your whole life at risk. Buy some condoms and some toys!
One has to reach to the absolute state of awareness: that is Zen. You cannot do it every morning for a few minutes or for half an hour and then forget all about it. It has to become like your heartbeat. You have to sit in it, you have to walk in it. Yes, you have even to sleep in it. Osho
So as you travel through the moments of your day, make each magical.
As much as we may resist it, the holiday shopping season is upon us. Zenful Life Lovin, the adult pleasure products division under the umbrella of Zenful Life Living, LLC is up and running.
Why you may be asking. Over the years, I continue to grow my business as needs of my customers change. I am very proud to say that my clientele has grown up too. Some married, some divorced or never married. Then, dare, I say, some of you are even grandparents. Yet the one thing you all have in common is that you are all spiritual beings having a physical experience. Apart of that physical experience is self-care, pleasureful, or sexual. Let me just put it out there... that is since you are not dead yet, you may still have sexual desire and want the pleasure that comes from it.
So take a look at the new site. It is a work in development, but it can take your orders at anytime. Products are shipped to you in a nondescript package. Also "LIKE" the Zenful Life Lovin Facebook page and be first to get the latest information and coupon codes between now and the New Year. Buy something for yourself or someone you care about.
I now have more evidence that supports what I have been thinking. SUGAR is EVIL! Sugar is not just bad for the formation of diabetes, but also heart disease, cancer and stroke. Sugar is a drug to the brain and we as consumers are addicted. And don't think you can save yourself with "diet" soda. NO! It is not going to happen.
I am fortunate that my son is a kid that doesn't care for candy, chocolate bars, cake and such. He will sometimes eat ice cream and we makes our own now to limit the sugar in it. We have been using the same 5lb sugar since October and still have about half left. Yet, I know there is added sugar that is not needed and in the prepared foods and juices we buy. So I am commented to read more and eliminate more. You commitment to do the same may just save your life of the life of a love one.
Check out this video from 60 Minutes for more on this topic.
For 2013, I have adapted a new mantra. It is, "I don't give a rat's ass". Like many others, I survived many trials in 2012. Looking back, I realized that I spent to much of my time being distracted by that which doesn't serve my well-being, growth, zenful life living...
Here is what I am saying...daily we are bombarded by a plethora of information that doesn't matter to our lives. There is the celeb baby bump, the who is sleeping with and divorcing whom, the fight someone had with a pap, and I REALLY DON'T CARE!. I don't wish those folks ill will, but I can't be concerned one iota.
What I do care about is my family, the health and education of children everywhere, and fairness in the legal system. If we can collectively change our paradigm in the world, we could change the future for the better.
So join me if you will. Your cares may be the same or different, but make them matter to the greater good of yourself, your circle, or the masses of beings that share the planet with us.
First, I want to let you know I was selected for a Facilitator position for Shopping Matter. Yeah!!! No the job doesn't pay, but I have so much passion to share about shopping on a REAL budget and providing healthy meals. My first clients will be the parents of the College Track/Summit 54 program I work with. I mean think about it. We prep kids for college while they may be eating poor quality food. What's the use? Education for the children and the parents go hand in hand. It is now a win win working to end childhood hunger in the US by 2015. That is Share Our Strength's goal and we will need a lot more foot soldiers to make it happen. Get involved. Go to http://www.strength.org/about/ and see how you can share your strength.
Although they have been around, Share Our Strength is new to me. I found them round about from an article in the Denver Post titled :Should food stamps be used for fast food? Really? Yep. That is what it said. Enough about that . That article touched on a program called Cooking Matters. which teaches low income adults to cook healthy on limited funds. YEAH!!!!!!! While at the website looking at that program I discovered Shopping Matters. Better still. Learn how to shop for healthy food to prepare in a healthy manner. LOVE IT!.
This is what I am about. Taking you from where you are to where you want to be so you can be, do and have everything you need to have the life you want for yourself and love ones. Then, if not while, you pass it on!. Remember, you have to pass it on.
So, I sent them a request to get involved and we will see what they say. Fingers crosses. In the meantime, check them out.
There is a time at a moment that just the right thing comes at the right time. I mean you get the right thought or expression, where nothing else fits the occasion. I HAVE IT! And I want to share it with you. It is my latest expression. It works for just about everything or everybody that is trying to work your last nerve. I mean how somebody gonna try and take away my ZEN.
So, to those people I say…. “Keep it movin!” Really, it is really an all encompassing expression. It works for when verbal or physical action is required. There is no need to try and take away my ZEN. The world is a mess enough without me adding to it, so just let me be my happy self.
As for you, don’t let the blood suckers in your life reduce you to something that is not your true authentic self. There is something to be honored about a person that can smile despite adversity. You can’t please everyone and should not have to spend your time trying. So just tell them, “Keep it movin!” Your ZEN is not going anywhere.
Everyday you can read or hear someone saying something different about what the number one killer in the U. S.. For years heart disease is at the top of the list, followed by cancer and stroke. Lately there is more conversation about stress and the examination of it being a contributor to the other three leading causes of death.
I am no statistician, but I know that stress does effect your overall well being. If you have stress or stressors in your life, commit to improving your situation from the inside out. Identify what ails you and examine its source on not only a physical level, but on spiritual, emotional, chemical, and structural levels, as well.
A good place to start the process is through daily morning prayer or meditation. If that is not your style, you can begin a gratitude journal or just by speaking your thoughts of thanks in the morning while preparing for your day.
As a Christian-Zenist, I make it my duty to be still in the moment at some point throughout my day and be thankful for that moment. It is within that moment that all things exist. It is not the past and the future is unknown. All we have is the moment. If you have never really thought about it, take a minute and don't be surprised if you get hit like a ton of bricks.
It is not just salt to watch out for. The University of Colorado, Denver Health Sciences Center found that among 4,528 adults age 18 or older, those that consumed 74g or more a day of fructose (the same as 2 and a half regular sodas) had a 26% to 77% increased risk for HBP (levels over 120/80mmHG).
The Centers for Disease Control and Prevention says that children who consume high levels of fructose may also have more belly fat and less insulin sensitivity. As we have heard over the past few years; abdominal obesity raises the risk of heart disease as well as type 2 diabetes. This is a growing epidemic for U.S. kids.
For the last hour, I was typing out some thoughts about telling the ones you love, simply that you love them. Something happened and it was all wiped away. It was good too!. I will get it all back and share with you soon. It is powerful so I want to do it justice.
I am a woman, a daughter, a sister, an aunt, a mother, an Integrative